On Bisexuality

23 04 2009

I have no doubt my readers have some commentary on this very interesting column out of SFGate, abbreviated here for you:

The question is, when is bisexuality an agenda, and when is it a valid sexual orientation?

Personally, I blame the gays. No. I take that back. I blame the straight community, wherever they are — oh, right, they’re all around us like “Invasion of the Body Snatchers.” Except now I think I hear Kinsey yelling at me from the cryogenics lab in my basement unintentionally defrosting in the current heat wave. The thing is, most people don’t think that bisexuals actually exist. But Kinsey made this neat scale, because he was a nerd, and yeah you might be a straight-as-a-stick “1” (whether or not you like sports or receiving anal sex) or a flaming, Perez-Hilton Kinsey “6” (also whether or not you like sports or receiving anal sex) but most of us bitches (and I mean you) reside somewhere in the middle.

So in all seriousness, I blame Kinsey for making us all a bunch of almost-homos. Because when you look at the stereotypes that came up in this sex ed branding session, you see that when it comes down to it (and Jesus Christ I hope someone’s coming from it) bi men and women are treated with equal disdain by pretty much everyone. But what Kinsey proved through scientific method and data is that bisexuality isn’t just valid, it’s normal…

No one believes in bisexuality but everyone loves to fake it. Knock it off, all right?

I remember once learning the term “transitional bisexual,” those people who identify as bisexual on the path of accepting their “true” sexual orientation. Seemed demeaning because, even in my head, I thought “Oh, right.” Then, of course, I work in HIV… where everyone is having sex with everyone regardless of how they identify and we get fabulous terminology like MSM (Men who have sex with men), or MSMNGI (MSM Non-Gay Identified), or MSMPC (MSM in Particular Circumstances), or, my favorite), BMSR (Black Men at Sexual Risk). See, in HIV, it matters more who you do rather than what you say.

And then there’s the question of people of color and the terminology of “gay,” and whether we blame them for being homophobic when really they are rejecting the predominate middle class, white version of homosexuality.

But that’s a whole other column — for the moment, I’m content to wonder about how much time we really give to our community “B’s,” not to mention the “Q’s,” “L’s,” or “T’s.”

Anyways, I’m not sayin’ much, I’m just sayin’.




3 responses

23 04 2009

Interesting NYT article, suggesting that bisexuality, at least in men, may not be for real:


23 04 2009

I don’t know much about bisexuality as a community. I do know that in my early twenties I fucked around a lot with both men and women. Even though I identify myself as gay now, I have found myself getting wood from certain women and wonder what would the consequences be if I ever followed through.

24 04 2009

“how dare you assume your sexuality is stable”

I’m not saying much, but I’m just sayin .. . . (sexual pluralism!)

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