STUPID JOKE SATURDAY!

19 07 2009

What do you call a woman with a sheep on her head?
Ba-Baa-Ra.

Why is a cat black?
Because it is.

How is a duck like a bicycle?
They both have wheels, except for the duck.

In the old west, a settler is watching an Indian meeting. There is an old woman sitting on a hippopotamus hide, and two younger women sitting on other types of pelts. Everybody seems to be listening to the old woman, but paying only half as much attention to the younger ones. After a while the settler asks his Indian guide why the older woman is treated with so much more respect. The guide answers, “The squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws of the other two hides.”

Five pigs went into a bar. The first pig asked for one glass of beer. He drank it and asked where the bathroom was. The bartender said, “Down the hall and to the right.”

The second pig ordered 2 glasses of beer. He drank them and asked where the bathroom was. The bartender said, “Down the hall and to the right.”

The third pig ordered 3 glasses of beer. He drank them down, then asked where the bathroom was. The bartender said, “Down the hall and to the right.”

The fourth pig ordered 4 glasses of beer. He drank them down then asked where the bathroom was. The bartender said, “Down the hall and to the right.”

The fifth pig ordered 5 glasses of beer. He drank them down, paid his tab, then began to leave. The bartender stopped him and said, “Aren’t you going to ask where the bathroom is?” The pig replied, “No. I’m the one that goes wee-wee all the way home!

A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. “What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?” asks the cop. “I’m a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act.” “Oh yeah?” says the doubtful cop. “Lets see you do it.” The juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches masterfully.

A couple driving by slows down to watch. “Wow,” says the driver to his wife. “I’m glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they’re giving now!”

There were three horny dogs (A British bulldog, A German Shepherd and a Chihuahua).

A poodle walked by and she says “Ill let one of you f*** me if you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence”…

The Bulldog says: “I hate liver and cheese”…

She says: “Nope that wont work”…

The German Shepherd says: “I love liver and cheese”…

She says: “Nope that wont work”…

The Chihuahua says: “Liver alone cheese mine”

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